Going through a
divorce can be a difficult or uncomfortable transition, but it some cases it is
something that just needs to be done. It is important to remember that
during the divorce time, however, that if you have family around they
want to help. Often times during divorce
grandparents (the divorcee’s parents) can get left out of the picture, and sometimes
may not have the rights they would like in divorce cases. In the event
that you have a civil relationship with your parents, there is a possibility
that by letting them being involved even more so in the lives of your
children during the divorce may help them in their transition. Children,
especially little ones, may not fully understand what a divorce is really
about. While their world around them is changing drastically, having a
stable grandparent to spend time with can be helpful.
Studies on grand parenting and divorce show that it is helpful for the
child to be able to spend just as much time with the grandparent after
the divorce as they did before. Obviously this may not be entirely possible,
but as much visitation as possible is beneficial. Dr. Lillian Carson who
wrote, “The Essential Grandparents Guide to Divorce: Making a Difference
in the Family” said that a grandparent’s home should be almost
a safe haven for the children to run to, a zone in which they don’t
have to deal with the pressures of two separating parents. It shows care
when they know that they can confide in you if they need someone to talk
to. Divorces can be challenging for children to understand, even if they
are older in age. It is also useful to remind them that the parents’
divorce was not their fault. There are many ways in which grandparents
can aid in the transition for children, possibly consider letting them
remain a part of your child’s lives if it is possible in your situation.