Many people have heard the popular expression for soon to be married individuals
having “cold feet.” This feeling of cold feet before saying
your “I dos” is actually quite common. Marriage isn’t
just a relationship that can end tomorrow if it doesn’t work out;
while divorce is an option down the road, marriage today is agreeing to
a commitment tomorrow and forever. Life completely changes when you get a
divorce, for some it means living with another person for the first time, sharing
finances, moving to a new location or even the actual thought of commitment itself.
Marriage is a beautiful and exciting thing, and yet many still experience
fears because they are saying yes to forever with another person. People
often wonder if you have any signs of cold feet before a marriage if it
means that you will divorce down the line. This idea of uncertainty about
your marriage has been a folk tale that has been passed on for years,
and whether it is a scientific fact cannot really be said. Every marriage
is unique, just as every person within that marriage is unique; because
of that whether or not they will work out in the long run is entirely
up to them as well as the dynamic of their specific relationship.
There have been some studies that have been conducted which address the
issue of cold feet before marriage and the effects years down the line.
One study consisted of 232 newlyweds who were in their first marriage.
Over a period of four years they interviewed the couple’s first
after 6 months of their marriage together. When asked the question if
they had experienced any cold feet symptoms before their big day, 47%
of the men and 38% of the wives claimed that they did have uncertainties
in some form. After the four year period, only 12% of the couples divorced
however, their research also brought up an interesting thought.
They found in this group of couples, that the men who had doubts were less
likely to be the ones who got a divorce, and yet when the woman experienced
doubts before their marriage they were more likely to be the ones who
divorced their husbands. In the Lavner group study, they thought perhaps
those who had previous interactions with divorce would be the ones more
likely to terminate their first marriage. This would include those whose
parents had a difficult relationship or divorced at some point.
Despite the great influence that family life can have on an individual,
the researchers discovered that the people who had doubts prior to their
marriage were more likely to divorce than those who had family members
divorce in the past. Overall, there is no way to pinpoint whether a marriage
will work out in the long run; divorces do happen for many reasons and
people choose to move on. If you or someone you know is considering a divorce,
contact Hutchinson Law today for more information!